


Cold Regret

by ElizaXSpears



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Angst, Death, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, No Dialogue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-29
Updated: 2016-04-29
Packaged: 2018-06-05 05:26:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6691429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElizaXSpears/pseuds/ElizaXSpears





	Cold Regret

As cold and as heartless as the man was called, there was so human still inside him, even if it was buried deep down, but now, all they saw was a man that cut himself off from everyone. Alan used to be able to sit him down for nice evening chats until things had changed were all Alan received when he offered the man an ear was a door in his face. Grell and the rest of the reapers all receiving the same treatment. He was just stone now, no emotion shown in his eyes, in his face or even in his actions as even the disdained he showed for overtime or the annoyance he had for clumsy co-workers was gone. He was a blank slate; a man running on autopilot. His voice was just as calm and dead as his eyes were. It was unsettling.

How could they blame him? The only reaper that brought any sort of joy into his greyscale world was murdered right before him when it was him who deserved the painful death. Yet even as he was found holding the body of the blonde, there was no emotion. He shut down the moment he closed Ronald’s eyes; tears weren’t shed over the body or at the funeral.

Still, the rare ones that cared about him were worried he’d snap at any moment and take his scythe to himself and leave them as well. Eric was the one to stand up and do something about William’s state. it wasn’t going to be easy, he knew that much as he stepped into the office with the reaper slowly working away on papers, not even the threat of overtime made him do anything different. This was still William but his soul and heart were shattered for a second time through both lives.

When Eric said his name, all the Scottish reaper received was that dead, hollowed stare. At first, he didn’t know how to go about this, trying to be gentle and coax William into showing something but the longer William refused to speak about the incident, the angrier Eric got. He had lost one of his best mates and he had cried. William and Ronald were lovers yet it was like William had all but forgotten about the blonde.

When he lost his temper, shouting at the man that Ronald would be hurt if he knew that William seemed to not care, that he didn’t mourn, that all Ronald had in William’s flat had been shoved into a closet to keep his emotions in check, William showed the first sign of emotion. Shock. He stared at Eric with surprised eyes and Eric believed they would soon turn angry and he’d demand for Eric to leave the office when slowly, the eyes that were always so cold, could easily make the bravest reaper cower, began watering.

The next second, William broke down. Eric saw the quick glimpse of tears slip from the corner of his eyes before the chair was spun around, preventing Eric from seeing what William had been keeping inside for so long.

He was amazed he was able to break the shell and quickly rounded the desk and the chair, seeing the tears and William’s held back sobs, burying his face in his hands the moment Eric stood before him. It was his fault, he choked out. He was the one the demon was after, he was the one that should have been killed where he stood, he shouldn’t have let Ronald be the hero and take the blow for him. He should have been his superior and lover, making sure Ronald was out of harms way not allowing the blonde to save him.

Eric said nothing and surprised William with the embrace the slightly older reaper pulled him into. Eric’s arms were tight around him, squeezing him comfortingly. William was shaking with broken emotion, his knees wobbling forcing him to return Eric’s gesture for him to stand straight. He had thought he was blamed and hated for Ronald’s death, but it seemed he was wrong.

William was unsure how long they stood like that, how long he cried into Eric’s shoulder but he knew he was grateful for that shoulder, for the comfort he thought he didn’t deserve.

For the first time in many years, William sobbed, letting his cold mask go to mourn for his lover he desperately wanted back in his arms. He honestly hated these petty human emotions.


End file.
